“What God Says”

By: Tayliana DeBusk

“And never let ugly or hateful words come from your mouth, but instead let your words become beautiful gifts that encourage others; do this by speaking words of grace to help them.” (Ephesians 4:29 The Passion Translation)

I would consider myself a pretty honest person. I tend to say things how they are and exactly like I see them. Even when I have tried to sugar coat something in the past, it has just come off the wrong way. My Myers-Briggs personality is ENTP. You may or may not know what that means, but basically I’m a logical thinker and an extrovert, meaning I extrovert those “logical” thoughts.

This is how I got away with saying mean things. I thought they were just honest. I would say, “they just need thicker skin.” In reality I needed to let my words be beautiful gifts that encourage others.

I never realized I did this until I was complaining to God about my fiancé. (Sorry, Sam. I love everything about you. This was just a weak moment.) I started almost name-calling in a way. I would say things like, “God, why is he so easily offended?” or “Why is he so emotional?” or “Why is he so naive?”

I had prayed prayers like this many times about many people, but this time I actually paused and waited for His answer. I genuinely wanted God to tell me why he was all those things. Instead He said, “I have never called Sam any of those things. I have called him empathetic, passionate, optimistic, and full of faith.” Oddly enough those are some of the reasons I love Sam.

You see, I frequently go to God wanting him to tell me I am right, but He never does. He always just tells me to love.

It was in that moment I made the decision to stop saying things about people God doesn't say about them. I’m not even just talking about gossip. I’m talking about my thoughts. I was wanting to spark a conversation with someone the other day, but my first thought was, “but they are just so hard to talk to.” Then I heard it again. “I have never said that about them.” I talked to them. The conversation was so good.

I don’t know where you stand on this. Maybe you’re like me and thought “because it’s factual, it’s okay to say,” and I understand that. No one gets along with everyone, and there is no perfect person. Maybe it’s well-known your coworker is an airhead. That in-law is controlling. That political leader isn't fit for their job. That classmate is actually just hateful and mean. But even if something is factual, is it what God says about them? If it isn’t, I challenge you to not say it. Don’t even let yourself think it. “Never let ugly or hateful words come from your mouth, but instead let your words become beautiful gifts that encourage others; do this by speaking words of grace to help them.”

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