“Love”

By: Mallory Rial

I remember the first time I truly felt the unconditional love of God. I grew up knowing that God was for me and that He loved me, but looking back I never fully understood or believed that for what it truly was. I lived in an almost constant state of shame. I felt guilty when I messed up, and I always had this core feeling that I was not good enough or that God was in constant disappointment of me.

Before I gave birth to my daughter, someone had told me that God loves me even more than I can love her. That seemed like a simple statement when I was pregnant, but at the time I had no idea the magnitude of love I would have for my child. I remember being so overwhelmed with love that my heart physically hurt because I didn’t even know how to process such a drive of emotions. As I type these words my eyes are welling up with tears because I truly love her so much it hurts, and to think that my God loves me on an even deeper understanding overpowers any level of guilt or shame that I have ever experienced.

It was in this exact moment that I began to fathom the type of unconditional love that Jesus has for me.

This is not to say that I do not have moments where I forget this. It is easy to spiral out of control with feelings of condemnation and guilt, but that is why it is so important to remind yourself of what God says about you through His word daily. When I am feeling shame, I speak out Romans 8:1—“So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.”

When I feel afraid that I am not good enough to be loved by Him, I speak out 1 John 4:18— “Such love has no fear because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced His perfect love.”

I consider myself very blessed to have this understanding of who God is. I think once we learn and understand the magnitude of this love, it is our duty to help those around us feel the same way. The more that we know, the more that is required of us.

Every person on this planet deserves to have that moment in life where they truly experience God’s unconditional love for the first time. How will they find out if we do not show them?

1 John 4:8 says, “Anyone who does not love does not know God because God is love.” When reading this verse, I am reminded of a lesson that I was taught in my first Virtue class by Tyra. The only way people recognize Jesus’ goodness through us is how we love them. I like to think I unconditionally love everyone, but when reading God’s definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13, I realize that is not always the case. It is easy to make this chapter in the bible something that is just cliché in your mind. The truth is that this chapter sums up everything that God is. Here are a few definitions of God’s love from 1 Corinthians 13 that I have to remind myself of daily when interacting with my daughter, coworkers and friends.

Love is patient. According to the Oxford dictionary, the definition of patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. God is patient with us. He doesn’t give us a timeline. He doesn’t get angry or upset when He must wait on us to listen or respond. This is how we are to show love to our children when they aren’t listening or doing things exactly the way we want them to when we want them to. To all the mamas, I know this one is hard!

Love is not proud. This can be relevant in different ways for many types of relationships. For me, pride is something I struggle with when it comes to being vulnerable. Vulnerability is hard and it is not always easy. Ridding ourselves of our pride and admitting our faults is another way we show others unconditional love.

When we share who we really are with others, it breaks down walls and makes it easier for them to share their hearts with you. Therefore, exposing more ways on how to love them.

Love does not look out for its own interest. Whew, this one can be tough. It is easy to ignore this one when we are feeling the stressors of our busy everyday lives.  The truth is we all need each other. Love does not say, “Well what about me?” Love says, “What about you?” Love sacrifices for others just like Jesus sacrificed so much for us.

Love does not keep records of wrongs. Just like God chooses to forgive and forget our sins, we are to do the same for others. We are not to bring up peoples’ past sins, we are called to love them. If you are holding on to a grudge toward someone, you cannot love them unconditionally.

Love always protects. Remember we are called to love EVERYONE! This means that we are to protect EVERYONE. We show others we love them by not exposing them to others. We should not be telling other people about their mistakes or struggles. We are to pray for them, help them through it and protect their hearts.

We are all sinners. We all fail daily. We all make mistakes. It is easy to fall into a path of condemnation and shame. It is easy to forget that we are unconditionally loved, and it is also easy to forget that we are to unconditionally love others (not just the ones that are easy to love) whether we believe they deserve it or not. When you find it particularly hard to love a difficult person, remind yourself to see them through God’s eyes. Remind yourself of how God loves you. Remember that God’s love is not passive, it does not separate, it does not lie, it does not leave, it does not cause fear or anxiety and it does not break.

God’s love is pure and it is real. It can penetrate your heart and change your life.

I encourage you to read over 1 Corinthians 13 and ask God to remind you of how certain He is when it comes to loving you and how you can better show unwavering love to those around you.