“Happily Ever After”

By: Jessica Maner

As spring is quickly approaching, so is wedding season. This time of year and all of the engagements and upcoming weddings have me reflecting back on my own journey to “Happily Ever After.” 

When I think back to 10 years ago, before I met my husband, if you had asked me, “When does your happily ever after start?” I would have told you, “When I meet the man of my dreams!” But today, if someone asked me that question, my answer would be different. See, I believe with my whole heart that God has called us to abundant lives.

As Christ followers, we are promised “life to the full,” Not “life to the full, after you meet your prince charming.”

When I met my husband, I remember thinking “This is it! He is my happy ending!” For awhile, that seemed to be true. He made me happy, he made me feel beautiful, he was everything I had ever dreamed of. But that “perfect” feeling only lasted awhile, and I soon realized that no matter how amazing my husband was, there was something missing. I began to blame him for things like, not making me feel beautiful enough or happy and content enough. I knew something was missing, and I thought we may be “falling out of love.” We began to throw the “D” word around. I would say that maybe we just weren’t in love anymore, we weren’t one of the lucky couples that make it. After all, divorce was so common, I had no reason to believe we would make it. 

Insert Jesus... Everything changed one day when we were introduced to  the idea that maybe love wasn’t a feeling at all. Maybe love was actually a choice. We already knew that Jesus loved us so much and that no matter what we did, He gave us grace and there was nothing we could do to make Him stop loving us. Now we had this thought that maybe this whole marriage thing actually isn’t luck at all, maybe it is all about loving each other like Jesus does, maybe it’s a choice to give grace to each other every single day and commit to each other, for better or for worse... You know, actually live out those vows from our wedding day.

So, as I reflect on my journey to “Happily Ever After,” I realize my journey didn’t have to start when I met my husband. We would have been divorced by now if we would have continued to rely on each other to create our happy ending. The truth is, it was never my husband’s job to make me feel happy, beautiful, or content.

When we inserted Jesus into the equation, we became two whole people in HIM. the pressure to create the perfect life for each other was gone, and things became so much easier.

Whether you are single, engaged, or married, Jesus wants you to begin to live out your Happily Ever After today.  Find your worth in Jesus, not your prince charming. Take it from me, your spouse’s job was never meant to make you happy, that’s too much pressure for anyone!

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